The Madam Of Suburbia Chapter 11

Chapter 11 - Freedom and Pancakes

I wake up screaming as I keep reliving this one nightmare over and over. It's been what I guess over a month since the cops tried to tune me up like a cheap piano, and my mind keeps replying the one thing I tried my damnest to forget. It could be the padded walls that I stare at all day as I'm kept inside this tiny room, or the drugs they keep shoving down my fucking throat claiming I still need to heal. Either way, I need to get the fuck out of here before I snap while spiraling down deeper into my madness.

I look at the dingy padded walls as I wait for another round of my supposed medication. I focus on the dried blood splatter in front of me, and begin to visual a story behind it. I wonder if the last person who was locked in this room decided one day to escape his demons by bashing his head against the wall to end their pain and suffering. I rub my hands over my freshly shaved head ashamed that I've thought about doing the same a few times as the illusion enters my brain every evening causing me to lose the will to live. I need to get out of here soon before I add to the decor of this place with my own blood.

"Hey, you okay?" a female voice calls out.

"Fucking fantastic," I reply as my mind shows a few glimpses of Donnie's demise.

"Your shouting is scaring me," she says. "Sure everything is okay?"

I swallow back the taste of bile in my mouth as the images fade away before replying, "Leave me alone."

"There's no reason to be a fucking dick," she retorts. "What is causing you to scream like that?"

"Look, I'm sure you're a nice girl, but everyone that gets to know me ends up dead," I explain as I think about Donnie and Gus. "So, go away before you end up in the fucking grave."

"Some days a grave beats the living Hell we have to face every day," she sighs. "At least when you're dead, people will remember you instead of acting you like you don't exist. Isn't funny how a simple rock with your name on it makes people treat you like your human even though by that point, it's too fucking late?"

I fall silent hoping she'll get the hint that I can't let people into my life ever again. I've been through so much shit since that night Donnie and I bonded over a few beers. I don't want to end up in the fucking swamps again, and I feel if I go back to the swamps, I'll be joining Gus. She sounds cute, but I can't have any more blood on my hands because I let someone get to know me. I have to remain the emotionless robot that Blue and Madam created if I want to live long enough to see the life drained from their bodies.

"Don't go silent on me!" she please.

"Everyone who talks to me ends up dead, so I'm begging to leave me alone," I state.

"If we're here, aren't we pretty much dead? They claim it's a hospital, but we're trapped like animals."

I look at the blood stain once more and reply, "I am an animal. I only kill so I can keep living."

"We're both animals. I get kids hooked on drugs that I refuse to even touch, and slowly watch them die as I find new addicts to replace the ones that do fade away into nothing."

"Remorse and empathy are two traits that are gone from my heart. I'm nothing but a robot," I reply as I think that with each passing day, the only thing that makes me feel alive is the burning fire fueled by rage and revenge. If I didn't feel a pulse, I would question if I was even fucking alive anymore. This woman is trying to be nice, and my first reaction is to push her away. Any signs of emotions I might show towards another person is like blood in the water. Once they sense it, Blue and Madam go into a feeding frenzy to devour the poor fucking soul that showed me anything less than fear.  "Again, best to distance yourself now before this place is where your life will end."

"My life is over, so I would like to have some fucking fun before then, “she says.

I go silent as my cell door opens. I wait for someone to enter, but no one does as I hear another door open as well then footsteps fading down the hall. I sit there for a minute before pulling myself off the floor and looking out the doorway. The hallway is completely barren, but surprising clean. I look around one last time, and step out into the hallway. I walk towards the double doors to my left when a hand grabs me from another open door causing me to almost shit myself.

"You do exist," a woman says as I stare into the most beautiful green eyes framed by red curly hair. As she caresses my palms, I let out a slight moan as her skin feels like silk against my calloused hands. She stands up in her pink pajamas and smiles, "Been awhile, eh?"

"You shouldn't do this. Everyone that shows me any affection ends up dead," I reply as I feel my cheeks turn warm as she presses herself against my arm. I almost explode in my pants as I feel her breasts rub against my shoulder. I look up and down her tall, voluptuous frame while my mind begins picturing her naked. I almost cry as I think that if Blue finds out of her, I would have to end the beating heart of the most perfect woman in the world.

She kisses my cheeks and says, "I'm already dead, so can a girl enjoy life before she's six feet under?"

"Look, Hon..."

"My name is Amber, not Honey," she interrupts. "Also, I don't care. Look, I say whenever we do get out of here, go somewhere to get to know each other better. I know a diner that has killer pancakes."

"Jimmy, and pancakes sound lovely."

She takes my arm as we walk down the end of the hall. As we go through the double doors, there's two boxes marked with our names as well as two sets of car keys on the dusty old desk. There is a note taped on each box stating "Take a few days off. - Blue".  I grab my box and head back towards the room I was in. I quickly change out of my pink pajamas, and throw on the outfit inside. I also grab the cellphone and my wallet before heading back towards the lobby. I can't wait to get out of here, and enjoy life as I'm about to eat pancakes with a beautiful woman.

She returns a few minutes later, and my jaw drops as she looks stunning in a pair of khakis and a black t-shirt.

"Pick up your jaw so we can go. I'm starving," Amber says.

"Where we going?"

"The Big Bend Diner. Know how to get there, or do you want to follow me?"

"I'll meet you there," I say.

As we leave the hellhole that is used as a makeshift hospital, I smile as I feel the sun on my face. I haven't felt this alive since I've landed in Florida, and it's a great fucking feeling. As I watch Amber drive off, I pray to any deity that will listen that this one doesn't end in a bloody fucking mess. I know it's just two strangers getting to know each other over pancakes, but part of me hopes it will lead to much more. Also, it's been a long time since I had a conversation with a woman besides Madam. As I leave the parking lot, I hope this leads to something because it will be nice to have an actual human connection again.  I also hope the pancakes are as awesome as Amber says they are because my stomach right now is empty as my heart.