"Beyond Gone"

A dark and dreary day
Numbing me to the core.
While wishing it was over.
As it rains outside the door.
Faint knock on the window.
Tiny man wearing a pink tutu
As he drinks some whiskey
From a leather dress shoe.
I open the window and ask,
"What in the world are you?"
"Shut up and come outside.
I'll give you a bloody clue."
I walk onto the front porch,
And get punched in the nuts.
I lay there crying in such pain;
He shows me his hairy butt.
He lets out a very foul fart,
And all I see is dark green;
Foul smell knocks me out,
And sends me into a dream.
I wake up on a brownie bed
Floating in a mayonnaise pond.
I sit on the dessert in disbelief
Wondering if I did hit the bong.
The little man appears in a kilt,
And smacks me with a chicken.
Try to hit him back with a squid;
The brownie boat starts ticking.
I leap onto the shores of jerky
Only to watch the boat explode.
I'm picked up by something wet;
Tossed onto the back of a toad.
I'm awaken to the sound of a fart,
Only to find myself on the couch.
The dog is too busy sniffing away
At the jerky inside a leather pouch.
I stand up, and find myself in a tutu;
Begin to wonder what drug I'm on.
Needless to say, they committed me.
My touch with reality is beyond gone.