"Acid And Ozzy"

So, I woke up today in a bed made out of old nails, rusted chains, and barbed wire. I tried to move, but all I heard was a loud creak, like someone was trying to move a rusted gate. I was finally able to roll over, and put my feet down, which lead to a loud metillac thud. I pulled myself off the bed, and tried to move forward. With each step, the room echoed with loud clonks as I move towards the dresser.

I finally made it towards the dresser, and stared into the mirror. Everything appeared normal except this small sliver of what appears to be aluminom foil on my forehead.I grabbed it, and gently pulled on it. I almost pass out in shock for the foil doesn't peel, but my skin came out like a banana peel, revealing more foil behind it. I stopped even though there's no pain or blood because I was freaking out to the point of  insanity.

I walked into the bathroom, and tried turning on the sink. I ripped the handle clean off, and almost pull the sink down as well. I shook my head, which lead to more creaking noise. Frustrated, I tried the shower, but my feet crack the tub when I stepped into it. I yelled in anger as I kicked the tile wall, only to have my entire foot go through it. Now even more frustrated, I kicked the entire wall out, and storm out into the yard through the hole.

As I stand in the yard, I noticed it's pouring. I found myself staring in complete disbelief as the rain washed away my skin, revealing more metal. Within ten minutes, I stood there completely devoid of all flesh: nothing more than a metallic being. I walked out into the street, only to be blinded by a bright flash and the feeling of static energy surrounded my entire body.

I awoken by the buzzing of alarm clock. I opened my eyes, and found myself in a normal hotel bed, but completely naked. I lifted myself up, and found Ozzy Osborne laying next to me in the nude with a few headless bats around him while "Iron Man" blares in the background. I crawl out of the bed, and slipped on a bag full of mushrooms.

Realizing that the metal part was all a dream, I grabbed my clothes, threw them on, and left the room as fast as I could. As I thanked the purple gorilla doorman on my way out, I grabbed a cab, and went straight to the airport. As I left Vegas on the furry, flying kitten, I vowed to never do shrooms again. Then again, I also vowed to never listen to Ozzy ever again. The image of his wrinkly tattood hide will haunt to my grave.