Woke up smelling like poo
Wondering what did I do
As I found myself in a cell
My wife was giving me hell
I barely remember anything
From my wild drinking binge
Something about Mexico
And watching a donkey show
While doing shots of tequila
With a hottie named Margarita
Passed out after the twentieth shot
Came to wearing only one sock
In the middle of a cow pasture
My face covered in fresh manure
With the barrel of a shotgun
Glistening in the morning sun
Pointed dead center at my chest
By an old farmer wearing a dress
What happened next, I won't say
Will take this secret to the grave
I kept running and never stopped
Till I was surrounded by the cops
Needless to say, they tossed me
Into this small prison cell at county
My wife never posted my damn bail
Now, I'm Bubba's new piece of tail
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