"Words"

A blank Word page

Matches a blank mind

Not sure if it's boredom

Or my sheer exhaustion

Deleting anything I start

Words are my enemies

They are now rebelling

Muddling coherent plots

Refusing to form paragraphs

Even a sentence is a struggle

Poetry is the only thing working

Hoping I can get them to behave

So I can get closer to my goal

Then again, words aren't the enemy

The lack of focus is my nemesis

As I stare at a blank page

With a totally blank mind

It's not exhaustion or boredom

Just unable to express my soul

Using words like I did before

"Through One's Eyes"

Silence, complete silence

An oddity in today’s' society

No ring tones or Ipods

Just a man sitting on a bench

Completely lost in his thoughts

No status updates or Tweets

No steady clicks of the keyboard

He writes them down on paper

An archaic device to many

A primitive recording system

He doesn't care what they think

He's living the way he wants

He keeps writing on his pad

Slowly capturing his mind

As he sees life through his eyes

As everyone around him

They stare in complete shock

That he's not using electronics

Or even posting it on social media

They talk about obsolete systems

Whispers about not sharing it online

The guy pays them no mind

If it worked for our ancestors

It still works for modern society

A young man approaches the bench

And begins talking to the old man

A few hours later, the young man

Realizes that he made a greater bond

Then he ever has through the screen

As the man is about to leave

He finally sees the written notes

All it simply stated is as follows:

"Life is meant to be seen through one's eyes

Not through the clicking of keyboards"

"Flushed and Feeling Relieved"

           It's scary how I can be in a writing mood, but I stare at a blank page for hours uncertain what to write. Then again, even if I have an idea on what I'm going to write, I always have issues with the beginnings. I can have all the notes in the world about the piece, and that first paragraph eludes me. Sometimes, it takes me a day to even begin the first sentence.

            Even though I wasn't planning on updating this blog tonight, but I figured writing something is better then nothing. I was plan on writing something a little more serious, but I couldn't find a beginning that would lead into the next chapter, a good short story, or even a poem. Mentally, I'm avoiding poetry due to being more focused on a novel, but it's sad when my mind can't even do that much without going blank.

            Oddly, as I sit here rambling, an idea is forming. Too bad it's not the next chapter, but something worth posting. This is the main reason I keep this blog. If I'm stuck, I can start writing something for here, and my mind normally breaks free. As I said in the past, "A blog is really a place to flush the mind of random thoughts so you can focus. The literally equivalent of taking a really good shit."

            My last thought before I try to start on something else. I see a lot of page views, but very comments. I begin to wonder if the adult content scares the readers from commenting, or people are afraid to speak their minds. It's a public forum. If I posted here, don't be afraid to speak your mind. Besides, if I didn't want to know what people think I wouldn't post this online.

"Freedom of Words"

My hands will not slow down
Words are breaking free
Poetry flowing out of me
Like a mighty waterfall
Spilling across the page
No structure or order
Beauty out of pure chaos
A break from the monotony
Involved with novel writing
No worrying about the plots
No character development
Nothing but my own expressions
My own thoughts and ideas
A complete freedom of words
That won't let me slow down
They will never stop flowing
Until I write my very last page
And then my hands will stop

“The Most Impact”

These are the words that I can tell
That got me through my own hell
If I have to sum it up in one phrase
Never let anything get in your way

Never regret a single decision
Always remember the conclusions

Not matter what, relax once in awhile
Just let it all go and try to smile

Nothing is worth getting you down
To the point where you're put in the ground

Try to release the anger held in your chest
Life is not a battle fought with a bulletproof vest

Love is the coldest and yet best emotion out there
When you have it, you don't have a single care
When you lose it, everything seems to fall apart
As you're left trying to repair a broken heart

Money is always the source of all anger and rage
For all of us work hard for it like we are slaves
The best things in life can't be paid for with cash
The joy they can bring always seems to last

Always be there for families and friends
For they will be there for you in the end

Try to repair broken bonds when you can
For sometimes you have to be the bigger man

Once in awhile, you will have to face your fears
Don't be ashamed when your face fills with tears

Always worry about now, never about the future
For what will happen to you is always unsure

Don't mess around with people's emotions
Unless there is the commitment of devotion


Besides yourself, found something to believe in
For you'll let yourself down and lose hope within

One day, death will eventually come to us all
So quit worrying about it and go have a ball

Don't worry what people think about you
For what people think about you can be cruel

Change is the one thing that is hard to accept
However, it's just fate's destiny being met

Always remember compliments that are given
For they are words that make you feel like living

Always remember the eyes of any lover, young or old
For eyes are the beautiful windows to one's soul

Knowledge is the way we learn from our mistakes
From that, wisdom is what we should always take

Don't feel guilty is what you're doing is not a goal
For we never know what we want to do till we're old

Just make the best of the cards you are dealt
For failing at life is always the biggest regret

A change of pace will always make you feel sane
A change of location can come with a lot of pain

Never be afraid to take a chance at anything
For there is nothing in life that's a sure thing

The innocence of youth is taken for granted
For the seeds of apathy have already planted

The things that hurt the most we never see coming
For our problems away from them we are running

I learned this the hard way when I hit the wall
And my entire life was on display for one and all
Learn this knowledge before this happens to you
"Live life one day at time" is all you can truly do
For now is the moment that always has the most impact
As once your mind is set, you can't change the past

My First Novel

This is my first novel I ever finished. It's self-published, but this is better then leaving it sit on my hard drive.

The Celtic Thistle

"My American Splendor"

          So, it's finally the New Year. There are a lot of changes and new beginnings in store for this year. I thought moving to a new house was a big enough change, but Fate always has an ace up her sleeve for the poker game called your life. When you least expect it, she pulls it out, and turns your full house into a pair of deuces. You could fold your hand, but you have to lose some hands in order to get better hands. Far as my poker game, my writing hasn't gone anywhere as of yet.
            The first novel is still sitting on my drive for now. I finally got a hurdle out of the way last month, and I'm hoping to get it out by next week. I've spent too much time on it to let it only rest on my PC, and not let the world read it. It would be like baking the perfect apple pie, and tossing it into the trash. It would be a complete waste of time, money, and creativity.

           The second one hasn't been touched as much as I would like. I'm way ahead of where I was with the first one at this time, but hoping that I will finish the rough draft in a year. If not, it’s not a huge deal. I'm not making the one-year mark a deadline, but it would be cool to write a rough novel in a year or less.

I finally started on it after the holidays, but the chapter I'm on is going slower then I would like. However, found a motivation song, and I got it back on track. I'm well aware it doesn't appear to be the typical song to crank while working on a romantic drama, but it has helped me focus. Now, I need to finish this chapter to keep moving forward.

           I've done some poetry during my time off from the novels. I know it won't help me finish the second novel, but it was something to keep the creative juices flowing. Then again, it's poetry. If I'm in a poetic mood, I can knock one out in under an hour. It did get me thinking how I got a few I need to finish or rewrite, but will save that for another day. One massive project at a time though. I got sidetracked during the first novel. It's best to keep focused on one, and only go to another if it will help break a bad case of writer's block.

          All I hope for in the end is all this writing is worth it. If not, I will hold my head up high for I did finish a novel, and tried my darnest to make it successful. Until then, I'm still a 30+ year-old wannabe novelist/poet working the tech support gig to pay the bills. This is my "American Splendor", and that makes me content. Where will this year lead me? I will have to wait and see.

"On My Mind"

Sitting here in my underwear

Wishing I wasn't sitting there

Listening to the morons yell

Telling me that I can go to Hell

I wish I were smoking a bong

And drinking beer all night long

Anything to make the day stop

Even it means to take an acid drop

Then again, the voices disagree

That everything is fine with me

They don't have the strong desire

To set the entire world on fire

My patience is wearing very thin

As someone screams they can't login

I finally heard something inside snap

I can no longer hold my anger back

Needless to say, my boss led me out

As the caller continued to cuss and shout

I cracked a smile as I left that hell behind

I finally told them what was on my mind

“Virtual Reality”

The real world is no longer seen

Everyone is focused on a screen

If they never receive a notification

They will never notice the damnation

Their entire lives are posted online

But can't give neighbors the time

They are too busy posting selfies

Claiming they are not internet junkies

They cannot disconnect from tweeting

To notice their imaginations are fleeting

From the total lack of mental stimulation

As MMO's have become their fixation

We might as well find a way to turn TCP/IP

Into a new drug and administer it over an IV

If you don't exist somewhere on social media

You're ignored like you are nothing but bacteria

One day, evolution will make us lose all senses

Technology has already overridden common sense

Etiquette, courtesy and patience are also gone

Rudeness and short tempers have caught on

I feel we should go back to the way it used be

When we all took active roles in our society

Instead of another post on some website's wall

We used to pick up the phone and actually call

We said hello, and didn't get upset over little things

And we're excited when we heard the doorbell ring

Then again, I know this is nothing more then fantasy

As the world is slowly fading into this virtual reality

Where we can’t see past the glow of our smart phones

Seeing we are digging nothing more then hollow homes

When the dinner bell has been replaced by a simple text

I am afraid of the way we are heading and what is next

"Words Will Freely Soar”

Some days, I think I need therapy

But the voices assure me I'm okay

Other days, they think I'm insane

But I find it boring being sane

If it means sitting at a big desk

And writing out nothing but checks

They can keep their damn pills

For I think they are the one's ill

I rather be able to walk outside

The box they try to keep me inside

I want to find my own damn way

Hoping that my creativity might pay

Working 8-5 for the next 40 years

The thought only brings me to tears

I will only accept my fate as an adult

A dead imagination will be the result

I enjoy seeing the world as a child

Letting my inspiration run totally wild

One day, all my words will freely soar

And my ideas will be sold at the stores