So, I am sitting on the bed watching "Sideways"
when an idea pops into my head. Since the notion involves wine, I dismiss it
for thinking about booze before work never leads to anything good. As I go back
to watching the movie, a red grape appears on my stomach. It starts walking up
my torso till it reaches my chin.
It looks me
dead in the eyes and asks, "Why you don't drink us anymore? We're too good
for your beer numbed palette?"
Trying to come to grips with a
talking grape on my chin, I stutter out, "Because I have to work
tonight."
The grape
gets an evil grin and replies, "Not my problem!"
Before I can move, I'm pinned to
the bed by grape vines, which are covering my entire body save my mouth. As I
try to break free, two pink elephants grab my head, and force my mouth wide
open. One of them shoves a funnel in my mouth, while another one uncorks a huge
bottle of wine. I close my eyes as they keep forcing it down my throat. A few
minutes later, I pass out.
When I
finally wake up, I find myself in the wine aisle of a local grocery store
holding an empty fifth of Jack Daniels wearing only a green tutu. I let out a
huge sigh for the wine incident was all a dream, but find myself wondering why
I'm inside a grocery store drunk off my ass dreaming about wine.
I try to
leave, but end up slipping on some water. I bump my head on a display of marshmallows,
and pass out.
I wake up
some time later, and find myself inside a padded room. I spend the night
playing chess with The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man The moral of this story is always
staying in a padded room where it's safe.
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