Random Story - 09/17/12

Last night, the weirdest thing happened. I was eating a salad and drinking some tea, minding my own business at the dining room table. Out of the kitchen, I heard a voice scream out, "I'm putting an end to this madness!". I got up to look around, but no one was there. As I sat back down, I saw a bottle of Jack Daniels standing in my salad holding a cast iron skillet. The bottle smacks me upside the head, knocking me out cold. When I came too, I was being forced fed hot wings, fries, and cheese sticks by an army of Budweiser bottles. One of them now and then jumped into my mouth, screaming "For the glory of man!" before emptying their contents down my throat. About 50 wings and 24 or so bottles later, I woke up naked and under a very cold shower. I get dressed, and walk into the living room. On my couch, I found my buddy Samuel Adams holding an empty bottle of Jack Daniels. I looked at him and asked, "What in the world happened last night?" He smirked and replied, "We can't have you sitting home all night eating salad. So, we knocked you out, got you drunk, took out for beer and wings, and brought you home at 4am. Come on, man. How many good stories start out about eating a salad?" "True, but why did I imagine an army of Budweiser being led by a bottle of Jack Daniels?" "My guess is your mind was telling you that you really wanted to get drunk?"