Random Story Part 1

So, I was at the local park this afternoon. I was sitting on the bench when Ronald McDonalds walked over to me, and decked me in the jaw, causing me to land on the ground hard. I looked up at him, and saw him holding a bat. He gave me an angry look while screaming, "How could you?! You traitor!" Confused, I asked, "Do what?" He hit me in the ribs with the bat, and tossed down a few Whopper wrappers. "You traded me for that crazy king?" Before I could respond, I was whacked upside my head once more, causing me to black out.

09/23/12 Thoughts

I might have said this before, but if I did it's been so long ago. To me, a blog is really a place to flush the mind of random thoughts so you can focus, the literally equivalent of taking a really good shit. I've been doing this on other sites, but they limit you to a set amount of characters. This can be frustrating when you are used to not being limited by word counts or character limits. Despite Twitter and Facebook being popular, I still will keep a blog. I will tell you not to worry for I do limit myself on here. So, for fun and mental pooping, going to post pieces of a random story, and I mean random, here whenever I get stuck. 

Random Story - 09/17/12

Last night, the weirdest thing happened. I was eating a salad and drinking some tea, minding my own business at the dining room table. Out of the kitchen, I heard a voice scream out, "I'm putting an end to this madness!". I got up to look around, but no one was there. As I sat back down, I saw a bottle of Jack Daniels standing in my salad holding a cast iron skillet. The bottle smacks me upside the head, knocking me out cold. When I came too, I was being forced fed hot wings, fries, and cheese sticks by an army of Budweiser bottles. One of them now and then jumped into my mouth, screaming "For the glory of man!" before emptying their contents down my throat. About 50 wings and 24 or so bottles later, I woke up naked and under a very cold shower. I get dressed, and walk into the living room. On my couch, I found my buddy Samuel Adams holding an empty bottle of Jack Daniels. I looked at him and asked, "What in the world happened last night?" He smirked and replied, "We can't have you sitting home all night eating salad. So, we knocked you out, got you drunk, took out for beer and wings, and brought you home at 4am. Come on, man. How many good stories start out about eating a salad?" "True, but why did I imagine an army of Budweiser being led by a bottle of Jack Daniels?" "My guess is your mind was telling you that you really wanted to get drunk?"