"Top Ten Signs You Need To Quit Drinking"

10) All the cups in your house are shot glasses.
9) Your emergency contact number on a job application is the local bar.
8) Budweiser sponsors your car, and you're not even a Nascar driver.
7) Your sons are named Jim Beam and Jack Daniels
6) Your idea of Thanksgiving dinner is a bottle of Wild Turkey 101 and a bottle Cranberry Smirnoff.
5) AA has put a bounty on your head.
4) An Irish man has a healthy paycheck because of your Guinness purchases.
3) The doctor called back with your test results. Your blood type is 80 proof.
2) The local liquor store basis their purchase orders on you.
1) Your liver tries to stab you to death in your sleep with a broken beer bottle.