"The Tequila Worm"

I went down to the creek
After a very rough work week
I was handed a case of Bass
From my best friend in the past
We sat down on an old dock
Downing shot after shot
Talking about the past for awhile
As we drank tequila from a vile
We were there to around midnight
Even drinking a case of Coors Light
We wanted to drink even more
But we couldn't find an open store
Luckily, he knew of a good bar
That was down the road not very far
Since never of us were shit faced
We made our way over to the place
We walked into the bar and sat down
We did shots of Jose every round
After awhile, everything was a blur
And my speech was quite slurred
I woke up that morning a mess
And found myself in a wedding dress
I started to wonder what I have done
When the lady next to me weighed a ton
I quickly grabbed my shirt and slacks
And made my exit through the back
I ran all the way to my front door
Collapsing onto my living room floor
However, my stomach begin to revolt
To the bathroom I ran like a lighting bolt
I spent the next two or three hours
Puking my guts out in the shower
I vowed right then I will not drink again
Not even when hanging on the weekends
I was giving it all up and going dry
Kissing my alcoholic way goodbye
Within a month, my plans quickly changed
Sitting on my front porch with a Budweiser can
Hoping that something would end my life
For that one ton woman is my loving wife
To those who do read this tragic anecdote
There is a moral you should make note
The one thing from this you should learn
Is never eat the fucking tequila worm