I normally don't post rough drafts of any of my novels, but this one I'm curious if it's worth continuing. I will stress this is a rough draft, so errors will be present. This one is my first attempt at a 3rd person science story, and since I mostly do 1st person romance, wondering if it's worth finishing this thing. Again this is a rough draft, but any feedback on the overall story will be helpful.
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Chapter 1- A Friend Among The Stars
As one looks up into the night sky filled with billions of stars, they can feel alone as they accept the fact that each twinkling light is the dead, glimmering remains of an alien society destroyed during a super nova many eons ago. The light is the only reminder of the annihilated galaxy as it races across the vastness of space. Their entire language, history, everything was turned into atoms when their star exploded, vaporizing everything around it. Now, where a thriving planet once lived exists a black hole that is turning the light into total darkness.
On a medium-sized, iron core planet called Earth that orbits around a yellow dwarf star called The Sun, a young man known in his language as Matt feels like his life is being sucked into the black hole known as depression. He sits outside a restaurant in his 1980’s Escort puffing on a cigarette as he tries to find the courage to go to work. He runs his hands through his long, brown hair as tears run from his blue eyes as he takes the last drag of his smoke as he thinks about how the choices in his life have lead him to this very moment. He tosses his red polo shirt over his frail frame. With one last sigh, he wipes away the tears, and exits his vehicle.
Matt looks skyward while thinking how badly he wants to leave this wretched planet. He glances towards the flickering sign of a red heart with white lettering that reads Cardio Burgers; accepting that this is where he will die one day from a heart attack. He glimpses back at the stars, and wonders if there is more for store for him in the universe than flipping burgers. A faint smile creeps across his lips as he pictures in another galaxy, an alien is experiencing the same sense of melancholy at this very second. He also wonders if the reason aliens have never contacted the human race is they suffer from the same, dreary life. Instead of a groundbreaking event, it would be a group therapy session as they discuss their depressing, meaningless lives.
He walks into the restaurant, and sees it is completely empty save the employees. Over the months working here, he can see why no one comes here. The dining area is filled with random medical equipment, and the lights are designed to look like surgery lights. The faded pinks walls remind Matt too much of insane asylums in movie, and the white tiles are cracked. The tables are no better than the plastic tables people keep on their patios. The entire building needs a remodel, but the owners barely spend a dime on payroll. He couldn’t see a family coming to eat in a place that could be the set of a horror movie.
He looks at the petite blond coworker with green eyes, as she fights back a yawn as she wipes one of the white plastic tables over and over. Matt waves at her as he heads towards the faded gray counter. He gets behind the counter, and heads towards the time clock. As he about to punch in, out of the corner of his eye, he sees the bald, portly frame of the manager Thomas approaching him. Matt hates every inch of Thomas’s being because Thomas treats every employee like there are his personal slaves, and must do his bidding. Matt tried to file complaints of the work conditions, but it’s a moot point since Thomas’s dad owns the entire franchise. Matt learned a long time ago that he should bite his tongue, and do whatever shit detail Thomas has in store.
“Matt! I need you to go work the registers for thirty minutes until the rest of the night shift gets here. Once he’s here, I want the bathrooms spotless before we close tonight,” barks Thomas.
“Yes, sir,” replies Matt as he pictures Thomas as a Chihuahua wearing a tie.
Thomas goes back to the office as Matt walks toward the counter. Matt stares out into the distance as an approaching thunderstorm lights up the horizon over the moss covered oak trees. He silently hopes his car makes it home as a bolt of lightning turns the dusk sky into dawn for a second. The last thing he wants is to walk home in the pouring rain after scrubbing the bathrooms. He stops worrying about the weather as the first car in over an hour of work pulls into the parking lot.
A few minutes later, a heavy set man waddles up to the counter. His black hair is drenched with sweat as he leans against the counter gasping for air. He pulls out a wad of soaked dollars bills from the pocket of his stained navy sweats as drool runs down his unshaven chin onto his stained white t-shirt.
“Welcome to Cardio Burgers, home of the Triple Bypass burger. How can I help you?” says Matt in the politest tone he can muster.
“I’ll have the Hypertension meal with a Diet Vanka,” replies the man between deep breaths.”
“Will there be anything else?”
“That’s it.”
“That will be $6.35.”
The man hands Matt a sweaty ten dollar bill. Matt quickly makes his change, and hands it back to the man as he drips perspiration all over the counter. A few minutes later, Matt hands the man his food, and he waddles off to the table Audrey was cleaning. As the man sits down, Thomas walks over to Matt.
“You’re fired,” states Thomas. “You didn’t offer him ketchup.”
Without saying a word, Matt takes off his work shirt, and tosses it onto the counter. He waves at the fat man before strolling out of the restaurant. He always thought he would make a big scene when he got fired, but all he can do is smile as he thinks at least he doesn’t have to scrub toilets tonight. He can feel the stress wash off of him like dirt in a rainstorm as he no longer has to come to this greasy cesspool. He actually wants to thank Thomas for doing him a favor by letting him go from this shitty job he couldn’t stand.
However, as he makes it back to his rust-covered, ancient car is when reality kicks in. He leans against the hood and lets out a sigh. He will have to start finding another job tomorrow, and they are slim to none in this suburbia hell. Also, his past made most jobs out of reach because they won’t hire a rehabbed addict with a record. He never wanted to work fast food in his life, but it was either flip burgers or starve. He lights up cigarette and goes back to watching the lightning in the distance as he tries not to worry about what the future has in store. Tonight, he’s going to go home to enjoy what might be his last night of freedom.
He crushes the light butt of his cigarette under his black sneakers, and gets in. He starts the car, and the engine kicks in like nothing is wrong. The instant he shifts into drive, there’s a loud bang from under the hood as smoke begins to bellow out from under the hood like a chimney in the dead of winter. He jumps out of the car, and runs a good distance from it as the smoke keeps pouring out of it. He stands in the parking lot cursing up a storm as he waits for the engine to catch fire.
A few minutes later, the car stops smoking as Matt feels his anger to subside. As he is about to approach his now useless vehicle, the sky opens up soaking Matt to the bone as he stomps back to his car. He grabs his phone and smokes out of the car, and runs to the awning over the back door of the restaurant. He stands there watching the pouring rain wondering how he’s going to get home. He barely has a dollar of change in his pocket, so a taxi is out of the question. His best friend is probably dead asleep, but he has no other choice. He pulls his phone and prays his buddy answers.
Matt lets out a few cuss words as it goes right to voice mail. He leaves a message, and shoves his phone back into his pants. With no other options, he takes a look and sees the lightning is still flashing like crazy. He squats down to the ground while covering himself as best as he can from the rain in his soaked t-shirt while waiting for this storm to die down. He could probably have asked a coworker for a lift home, but he isn’t willing to wait for another four hours. He wants to get far away from the restaurant and the asshole Thomas so he can finally relax at home even if it means walking through this monsoon to do so.
As he gathers the courage to start heading home, a bolt of lightning strikes the sign causing it to shower the parking lot in red sparks as the sign flickers one more time before going out in a final poof of blue smoke. Matt stays sitting on the ground as his hands tremble in fear as the thunder explodes, shaking the door behind him like a nuclear bomb went off in the heavens. He might hate this place as well as the direction his life is going tonight, but he does enjoy being alive as he feels his heart is beating against his chest like a prisoner trying to break through a prison wall with a metal spoon.
As Matt relaxes from the natural firework display, a wave about twenty greenish, purple lightning bolts strike behind the oak trees in a circular pattern, followed by a blueish light shining on the gnarled bark, causing it to glow in an eerie, web pattern. The light stops when another round of the strange lightning strikes the same area, but there’s no thunder. The only sound is a humming noise coming from the trees that pierces the steady staccato of the rain. The noise fades away a minute later as the rain comes down even harder.
In the flash of normal lightning, Matt catches a glimpse of someone moving slowly between the trees. He tries to stare through the rain out into the darkness, but he can’t see more than a few foot away through the gray wall of the downpour. As the hair on his arms begins to stand straight up, fear takes over as he rises to his feet to sprint towards the restaurant. He figures it’s better to be inside with the asshole than outside with the freakish light show happening in the forest.
As he steps out from under the awning, the blue light flashes from the oaks for a second followed by the hum. He stops to pinch himself to make sure he didn’t fall asleep or his old habit has magically returned. As the hum grows louder, Matt starts walking towards the oak forest despite the lightning going off around him like a strobe light at a party. As he rubs the scars on his left elbow watching the purple lightning return once more, he accepts that he may die in the woods tonight, but at least it won’t be at his own hands this time.
Matt makes it to the oak trees now soaked to the bone as a sudden chill runs across his entire body. He peers into the darkness trying to see what is causing the humming noise. Behind him, he hears a branch snap followed by leaves rustling. He turns around, and see nothing but the rain. He keeps scanning the area, but even through the constant lightning is illuminating the area he can’t see anything out of the ordinary. Whatever was here was either a figment of his imagination, or he is still dreaming. He quickly dismissing as his mind wandering due to stress.
Matt silently wishes as he stares into the forest that it was an alien ship that can take him away from this wretched planet. He feels like no matter how hard he tries, he can’t go forward in life. Ever since he went clean, things have gotten harder for him. He fears that his past will prevent him getting another job, and he’ll end up on the streets. Realizing he can’t change the past, he decides it’s best to head back to the restaurant, and wait till the storm passes.
As he stands there peering into the rain, he sees something glimmering across the field in the thicket of oaks. As the purple lightning strikes around the object. Matt sees it’s a large, metal cylinder about the size of one of tree trunks surrounding it. Matt estimates it to be about fifty long and twenty feet wide. There is a single window on the side, but it’s fogged over from the condensation and the heavy rain. Matt sees something moving inside as the humming returns much louder.
Matt wants to run away, but he slowly begins moving towards the cylinder as the humming stops, causing his curiosity to explore the alien object. He stands a few feet away from the cylinder and peers into the foggy window. A large, deep blue hand with four fingers and two thumbs presses against the window as the humming returns in a softer tone. Despite large silver claws protruding from each finger, Matt isn’t afraid of the being locked inside as the purple lightning strikes around him. However, when he hears someone or something say “friend” over the humming from within, his fears returns as he decides to run away and return to the safety of the restaurant.
Before Matt can turn around to run back to the restaurant, he hears a beeping noise right behind him. He slowly turns around to stare at a small, blue metallic orb floating at eye level. Behind the orb, Matt eyes widen in fright as there stands a tall, slender creature with a lizard-like tail wearing an all-black body suit that covers it from its elongated snout down to the tip of its tail while a golden visor where the eyes of this alien should. The only animal that comes to mind as Matt’s eyes stay focused on the creature is an alligator in a space suit, but this one is walking upright like a human.
The lizard head stays directed at Matt as Matt hears the humming in his head. The lizard lifts up the visor, and Matt sees nothing but a smooth, black alligator-like head staring at him through a clear visor. In another flash of lightning, Matt notices the alien has no eyes, just the smooth skin covering every inch of its snot. The lizard opens his mouth at Matt, revealing a mouth filled with medium-sized, flat blue molar teeth. Even though this alien is probably a good 10’ from snout to tail, it’s trying it’s best to show Matt it means him no harm.
Matt tries to speak, but the orb beeps out, “Xa han yuol em. Qu olu bulu na nodu sae oqos.”
“What…are…” are the only words Matt can vocalize as his brain is still trying to process the entire scene unfolding before his eyes. Before he can figure it out, the cylinder shines a blue light, surrounding his entire body. The hum starts up one more time as a purple mist wraps around Matt. He tries to move, but his body starts glowing as his hands slowly evaporate into the air, and a bolt of the purple lightning striking him, blinding him as he feels cold steel against his skin. The last thing he remembers is staring out the cylinder’s window at the he space alligator looking at him before he slips into unconsciousness as he hears the word friend uttered one more time.
