Random Story 01/27/13

So, I woke up this morning in a foggy haze. I look down, and saw I was covered in peanut butter, motor oil, and mud while wearing a chicken costume. I looked around, and found myself in the middle of the barn lying next to a giant purple monkey. I was about to get up, but the monkey grabbed me, and tossed me throw the barn wall. "You leaving me?" it screamed as I slowly pulled myself from the debris. "After all we did last night?" It rushes over, and pushes me off the edge of a steep cliff. I close my eyes and waited for the falling to stop. Before I hit the bottom, I wake up and roll off the couch, landing on the floor, only to find it's made out of Jell-o. "Wake up, you goof!" the couch yells at me. I try to move through the Jell-o, but I find myself slipping into it deeper, causing everything to go black. At that point, I felt water on my face. I open my eyes, and find myself slumped over a bar next to a menu with a purple monkey and a good dozen empty paper cups that once held Jell-o shots. The bartender shakes his head, and tells me to catch a cab. I walked outside, and caught a cab. As the cab pulls me away, the driver, asked, "Hey, man! What's up with the peanut butter, and why are you dressed as a giant chicken?" Before I can answer, a bright light blinded. When I came around, I found myself in jail wearing a purple monkey costume while holding a rubber chicken. A deputy walked past me, and I asked, "What am I in jail for?" The deputy replied, "You were found in a dumpster drunk wearing that costume screaming something about peanut butter cups giving to you by beer fairies." Ten years later, and I'm still in the asylum. The moral of this crazy tale? Never take candy from fairies. They're evil little creatures.